I now have 50 dollars in prize money that I can do whatever I want with. It is my belief that people with better education do better in life. Generally, colleges that rate higher cost more. I have rather high standards. The college of my choice is Oxford, while it is very unlikely that I will go there, I am saving up for it anyways. I will put these 50 dollars into my college account. While fifty dollars is a meager amount of money compared to the tuition cost alone, $12,000, it puts me farther along than if I chose to go to Yale or Stanford, which have a tuition cost around $44, 500. As i noted earlier, it is my belief that people who have a better education do better in life; I wish to reach my maximum school education by going to college, but I believe that your knowledge expands even after you graduate from college. In simpler terms, you are always learning something new. What would you do with fifty dollars?
Amelia, this is a great post! I love that you are choosing to save the money to help with college. You may, however, want to make sure that when you say “I…” you capitalize the “I”. I know that this is kind of nit-picky, but I do think that it is an important detail. Also, I love how you said “It is my belief that people with better education do better in life.” twice for emphasis. The only other thing that I would change is that at the end when you say “In simpler terms, you are always learning something new.” you don’t tie that in to the $50, so it leaves the reader kind of confused about what the topic of the paragraph was.
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